I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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