It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
