Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No subtext here. People are naked.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
