Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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