I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
