thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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