We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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