My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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