I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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