I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
