at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
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