Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
