I want to stick my p in your. b.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
