I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
