1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
