and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
