Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize