Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
