google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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