i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
