I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
