That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
