I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
