To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize