I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
