Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
