forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
