It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
