How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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