Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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