Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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