Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
