Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
