it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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