Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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