Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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