i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
