Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
