In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
NoShamevember. You game?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
