I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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