it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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