I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Fuck appropriateness.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize