Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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