I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
