Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
