did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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