Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We had sex on a dog bed..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
