Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
