I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
COCAINE IS GR8
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
