I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
