Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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