i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
