She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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