The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
