you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
