My Higher Power is John Stamos
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
