i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
