This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
