if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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