He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
