you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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