You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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