Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
