We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
