Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
