He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
